Guest blogger: Katie Beals, The Summit Counseling Center
As September is National Suicide Prevention month, it’s important
to take some time to touch on this difficult topic. A big part of this is
learning to be intentional about noticing things in your children and feeling
comfortable having conversations with them about these things. I know that it
often feels difficult or uncomfortable to do this, but talking and creating an
open environment really is the most important thing you can do to keep your
child safe.
Before we launch into what some of the warning signs of
suicide are, it’s crucial to take some time to explain that no one thing leads
to someone wanting to take their own life. It is usually many things at once
that have added up to make someone consider suicide. I say this to reduce any
guilt that might be felt by reading these. It is also true that many are very good
at covering up symptoms or emotions and that can also make it very difficult to
notice.
Some warning signs to pay attention to are a change in
appearance or affect. This means that if your child or someone else usually
gets up in the morning and showers and puts makeup on and all of a sudden they
stop doing that for a significant period, that would be the time to check in on
how they are feeling. In the same vein, if your child usually has a
happy/joyful demeanor and lately they have seemed “down,” a conversation should
take place. If your child has started to lose interest in something they used
to love (ex. a sport, hobby, etc), it’s
time to check in. If your child seems tearful or hopeless or reports feeling
“like a burden,” pay attention. If your child is sleeping significantly more or
less than normal, ask them about it. Basically we are looking for significant
changes in patterns of behavior. The goal here, again, is just to have some
conversation starters and to let your child know that you are paying attention
and that you care.
The following are some risk factors associated with suicide:
a mental health diagnosis, family history of mental health issues, a
significant life event (a death of a loved one, parental divorce, a breakup),
exposure to suicide by a family member, friend, or someone in the community,
bullying, a history of abuse, and access to lethal means. This is another
reminder that no one thing leads to suicide. If any of these are involved in
your child’s life, it may have had an effect on them and a conversation could
be really helpful.
Now that we have helpful information about how to know if
your child is at risk for suicidal ideation, we can dive into how to support
your child through middle school. First, to stay on message, conversations and
open relationships are everything when it comes to this. If you are intentional
about checking in, asking open ended questions, and making sure your child
knows you are there if they need to talk, you are doing a phenomenal job. I’ll
add to that though that teaching your child coping skills is also extremely
helpful. Some of these coping skills might include: planning ahead, taking a
break, reading a book, taking a bath, listening to music, calling a friend,
doing some deep breathing, journaling, etc. The more you can model these
healthy coping skills to them, the better they will be at incorporating them in
their own lives.
To sum this up,
Notice changes in
patterns of behavior
Acknowledge them to
your child
Attempt to have a
conversation about it
Model/teach coping
skills as early as possible
Tell your child that
you care about them
